An Open Letter to One Million Moms

Dear One Million Moms,

Greetings! My name is Adam Taylor. Hope you are doing well. I'm writing to inform you that I have read your recent article covering the American Girl controversy, in which the magazine had the audacity to feature a gay couple and their adoption of four black children. I quite agree that your outrage is well justified from a biblical perspective, and that such acts go against the wise wishes of the obviously good Yahweh. However, I feel you may not have been strong enough in your denouncement, leaving out several points that may be pertinent to the point you're trying to make. As you state in your article:

We must remain diligent and stand up for biblical values and truth. Scripture says multiple times that homosexuality is wrong, and God will not tolerate this sinful nature. American Girl doesn’t highlight other sins in their magazine.

You're very right to claim the bible repeatedly denounces homosexuality. Of course, perhaps your message would have hit home a tad more had you included the fact that Leviticus 20:13 calls for homosexual men to be killed. Clearly this would solve the problem all at once, since executing gay men would prevent any gay adoption from happening ever again. How can you go wrong there? Interestingly, this bible verse seems to get overlooked by those citing the bible in their objection to homosexuality. Here's you're chance to correct their mistake and make this point. I don't see why you shouldn't. It's right there in the "good" book after all. 

Furthermore, it may have done you good to point out what proper bible-based marriage is really all about. So many people seem to have forgotten that marriage is defined as one man and one woman. And also one man and 700 women. And 300 concubines. Or, hell, polygamy in general if we don't want to get distracted by specific numbers. Again, so many good Christians seem to forget these passages in the bible. Perhaps it is up to responsible Christians such as yourselves to get everyone up to speed with what the bible really says?

Also, you might want to emphasize how God never seemed to condemn lesbianism in the bible, just saying that those icky gay men can't do it together. Think about it. Lesbian parents. Hundreds of wives. Hundreds of concubines!? I guess moms really do know best! Praise the Lord!


In addition, while you state that American Girl doesn't highlight other sins in their magazine, you yourselves seem to have missed an opportunity to highlight a just biblical action these gay heathen men cold have taken. Given that all their adopted children are black, they are clearly descended from African Americans, i.e. people from foreign nations. If that's the case, you should have pointed out to these gay sinners that instead of adopting these children, they would have done better to make them permanent slaves. After all, the bible states people from foreign lands can be kept as slaves forever. Maybe you just missed that part, but it reads:

As for your male and female slaves whom you may have: you may buy male and female slaves from among the nations that are round about you. You may also buy from among the strangers who sojourn with you and their families that are with you, who have been born in your land; and they may be your property. You may bequeath them to your sons after you, to inherit as a possession for ever; you may make slaves of them, but over your brethren the people of Israel you shall not rule, one over another, with harshness. --Leviticus 25:44-46

Clearly, if these gay men were to act responsibly, making these children slaves would have been the proper thing to do. Who are they (or anyone else for that matter) to disagree with God's word? After all, God's word never changes. It says so right in the book. And the slave-owners of the south knew this too. So why aren't more people keeping slaves anymore? I tell you, tough times for Christians these days, huh? They just don't seem to know what the bible says.

I hope you'll take my suggestions into consideration. These are hard times for Christians, given that they only make up about 70% of the country. Clearly in a very vulnerable 
condition. Obviously. I also warn you to avoid the propagandist "trash" (as you call it) that might change your views on this subject. For example, you definitely shouldn't read Dr. John Corvino's book What's Wrong With Homosexuality?, where he debunks every popular argument against same-sex marriage raised over the years. You should also avoid his YouTube channel and his videos which debunk anti-gay marriage arguments too. Furthermore, you probably shouldn't read Dr. Hector Avalos's book Slavery, Abolitionism, and the Ethics of Biblical Scholarship. While he correctly notes that slavery is biblicaly allowed, for some reason he thinks Christians throughout centuries were wrong for supporting it. What get's into some people? Baffling. I swear.

Also important, do everything you can to avoid the detailed, peer-reviewed studies that show gay parents do just as well as straight parents raising kids. That's especially important.

Lastly, pay no mind to Amaya Sheer, the 11 year old daughter of the gay men, who made it clear that "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS." What does she know? Christianity is so obviously true, and the bible clearly makes so much sense, that I don't see why anyone could possibly have a problem with it, right? I mean Jesus, why do so many people not take this stuff seriously?

I hope you find my suggestions helpful, and that your quest to interfere in other people's business goes smoothly from here on out.

Sincerely,

Adam Taylor, just your average baby-eating, dark-hearted, heathen atheist.

P.S. I should also mention that writing your article in the first place might have been a bad move. After all, the bible makes it clear that women are to "learn in silence" and that they are "not permitted to teach... she is to keep silent." As a group of "one million" Christian moms, you don't want to go against what the bible says, right?